How microdosing works with my depression

I am currently 24 years old and had been suffering from severe depression since I was 21.  After years of research and attempts to see professionals and psychologists, I found myself in the same personal situation over and over again. I suffered from severe rumination; having the same repetitive thoughts over and over again. I found myself consistently returning to the same places; I wound up at my parents home over and over and over again. It’s a terrible cycle, ending up in the same places, doing the same things and having the same conversations because you are having the same thought patterns. Fully aware of my own responsibility in keeping myself stuck, I still could not break out.

The cognitive behavioral therapy I was undergoing wasn’t enough. I wound up thinking about my thoughts too much, analyzing every little thing I thought and did. It really only worsened the issue, and I felt like all I was doing was “thinking about thinking”.

I had heard from friends in the Netherlands that they had wonderful psychedelic experiences with truffles and mushrooms, and began to look into psychedelic therapy. I was a little hesitant because I thought a truffle or mushroom experience required deep introspection and reflection and I felt like I was doing that all the time, anyways. Still, I did some research hoping anything might help. Originally living in Germany, research around psychedelic therapy was not much discussed and my options limited. I had difficulty accessing information and resources related to it, and considered even temporarily relocating to the UK to take part in a study with psilocybin. But, after moving to the Netherlands, a friend showed me Earth Resonance and, thereby, did me a favor I will forever be grateful for.

I have been taking the natural psilocybin now for two weeks and already notice a difference. It is definitely not a “cure-all” and one should not expect it to be, however, it has made taking the first steps towards better mental health much easier.

I feel like the world is beginning to open up again and feel larger. This is partly due to less rumination. After taking the psilocybin for two weeks now, I am already experiencing more moments in which I do not ruminate. I am learning to be more open towards new experiences, and I am able to perceive these in a clearer manner. I find myself with the necessary motivation to work on different tasks, that, before, seemed overwhelming and, worst of all, meaningless. Even just writing a review like his would have been too much for me two weeks ago, and today, I can even find enjoyment in it.

Of course, nothing is a one-time fix for issues of the mind, but, the psilocybin has kick-started a process of betterment for me. This was all I had ever wanted; a little bit of a push to be able to carry myself for the rest of the way. It is important to put in the rest of the work oneself, and to use the clarity and energy that the psilocybin provides wisely.

I am hopeful that I can break out of the mental paralysis I experienced. Obviously, it is a slow process and I have yet to see how the cycle develops, but I am hopeful. Thank you for making this possible. I am grateful I finally discovered this tool, but hope other people are able to discover it faster in the future, and for that, it needs to become more accessible.

All my love,

Vanessa B

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